while walking thru walmart today, i noticed ash-trays for sale, and i wondered - if pot was legal here, or maybe "when" its legal here, will they sell cheap bongs and grinders from china and stuff? probably. i mean, they used to sell opium in the sears catalogue.

buddy came around with his elise today - nice :)
phx says she saw ppl rubber-necking as they passed. he asked me if i wanted to take it for a drive, but somehow i didnt feel like it was the right time or something, so i turned the offer down. hope it comes around again - preferably when "the time is right" :)

buddy bought a lotus elise today. just called to yell "yeeeee-haaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
cool :)
god speed montoyo! :D

time flies

wow - so much has happened since my last post...
...we started getting hints that phx might be pregnant again, we went to toronto to visit phx' family, then we went to niagara falls and got thoroughly soaked by mischievous winds, flew to germany, got one of our bags lost by an arrogant LTU check-in lady, visited phx' family in germany, went to the town where they make jagermeister - very cool town, went to poland for 3 weddings, got sick, got followed by rain everywhere we went, spazzed out time and again at the horrible roads and drivers in poland, and the lack of clothes dryers, decided that the european union has no idea what they're getting themselves into accepting poland into their ranks, because poland is evidently a 3rd world country, trying to get into the 2nd world. we ended up spending more time on the road than sightseeing, and forget about relaxing. then we drove back to berlin, flew to dusseldorf, and got separated by LTU which wouldnt allow me to fly back to canada because they didnt think my canadian citizenship card was proof enough that i'd be allowed back into canada. their single nice employee helped me get in touch with the canadian consulate, and i got an emergency passport about 3 hours after phx and boogie flew off to canada. i got a cheap hotel, a delish doner kebab, check out enchanting dusseldorf by night, and flew off back home next day. an eternity later i was greeted by the very pretty vancouver airport, and a retardedly long wait to get past the customs booths, followed by a nearly as retarded wait at immigration, where nothing was moving, where i was just supposed to drop off my stupid emergency passport, followed by another retarded wait to get out of the carousel area - the vancouver airport may look pretty, but has an unworkeable system of getting travelers through. next time i may fly to seattle. i've come to hate travelling though.
finally past all the waiting, i was greeted by phx and boogie with a flower - i was very glad to see them :)
in a couple of days we went to a carepoint walk-in clinic - this chain seems to hire mostly 'doctors' who are unprofessional enough to have their own successful practice, where one of their 'dudes' confirmed that phx is pregnant, and proceeded to prescribe her antibiotics which she'd just told him she allergic to.
i went back to work, which is still a clusterfuck, and my right front tire fell off - i'll be retiring my car, i think. then we went to visit phx' parents, enjoyed some great mother-in-law cooking, and saw the abomination that is 'stomp the yard' or whatever - which i give a rating of 5 beers to get through. it was like the fast and the furious of dancing, but worse.
found out dopefiend is in vancouver, visiting uncle weed, and hope they have some sort of meet-up with the fans before dopefiend goes back to london.

and i'm late for work again.

CFA Solutions

went to help out a buddy today at the site he runs, and i guess he's somewhat frustrated with the way the company runs, especially at this point, when his building has to be ready for the occupancy readiness inspection, and he's not ready, in part due to the company. at any rate, we were hard at work at the local coffee shop, when phx calls me from her commute from her day-job to her tutelage-job, and got increasingly annoyed at the traffic while on the phone with me, producing ever more colorful expletives. i dont know, but somehow i thought at that moment that it was cute the way she cursed, maybe a good choice of words. at any rate, one particular "bouquet" stuck in my mind, and i told the guys how my baby just called her current traffic jam situ a "cluster-fuck of assholes" :D
to which my buddy responded that THAT is what our company should be named! that was funny :) i should get started on making a logo :) have t-shirts, put the logo on soup cans, cd's, what have you :)

i donno, i must be bi-polar or something, i get so friggin pissed off and depressed recently. maybe its that seasonal affective disorder, but its really getting to me. i hate my job, hate the cold, hate the driving in this town, hate not having time, i feel tired all the time, i dont wanna do anything, but theres so much to be done...

well, i was gonna post about what a shitty night it's been, how what was supposed to have been a stupid 2-3 hour side-job finish-off turned into an over 5 hour stupid clusterfuck until 12:40 am that i still have to go and finish off tomorrow, or die trying, while having to call my parents to tell them that unfortunately their moron son cant come to celebrate their other son's wedding as he'd promised, because he has to work another 3-4 hours to try and finish this stupid job which will probably end up paying under minimum wage, judging by the amount of hours its taking. i drove home yelling at myself about how unbelievably, ridiculously, extravagantly, fucken flamboyantly idiotic this whole thing was. it just rates above and beyond anything ever before, at all, and has set a brand new, astronomically unattainable standard of... of... there's just no proper word in the english vocabulary for this kinda thing just yet. but here's a few markers, just to point toward the general nature of this: idiocy, stupidity, brainlessness, braindeadness, retardation, unfitness for survival, un-human-worthiness, time waste, ...

well, i feel a little bit better now. man - that was incredible. just so stupid. ugh...
and then i get home, shower, and read on phx' blog about how she's still hemorrhaging about my brother's email, and which has now spread to doubts about our relationship again. why me? i change lanes in morning traffic, and my lane immediately starts slowing down, and my until now slow lane starts speeding up and everybody gets ahead of me. i'm sure my car will break down tomorrow, and i'll try to fix it in the rain, and get sick, get fired, get sicker, krista will leave me for an acid dealer, my parents and brother will die, and so will i and dogs and cats will shit and pee on my grave, and my name will be deleted from all records by some freak virus, and so all this pain will have been in vain, and that's the end. fucken bullshit.

does this city have enough friggin' potholes?!

it pisses me off - they make a road, and THEN they dig trenches every 5 feet to run shit into new houses or whatever, and then they patch them really shitty - what the fuck is the point?! isnt there any kind of inspections to make sure the road is repaired to a nearly identical state as it was before they dug it up? these assholes should be fined and then made to repair it until they get it right! i dont have an SUV because i didnt think i needed it living in the city! or *think* before u jump: when building any kinda road, account for all, or at least most, of the possible wiring and plumbing needed on both sides of the street and build pipes into the road as ur building it! no digging needed later! and the innumerable manholes on some roads - ALL like 2" below the level of the pavement! what the fuck is going on inside ur overpaid, fucken useless heads?! get those manhole covers that are flush with the pavement that fasten to the actual manhole so that car wheels dont slip them out of the holes. these things already exist! they're in use. this is the fucking 21st century! my fucking tax dollars hard at work.
same for cops. i pay the fuckers' huge salaries so they can pull me over and give me a ticket? fuck you! go fight some real crime! fucking east hastings is crawling with bums - they're all dealing crack, stealing shit to get more - breaking into cars of hardworking people, the insurance doesnt cover it because the window costs more than the deductible - what are u supposed to do? and the bums just keep asking for spare change. I DONT HAVE ANY SPARE CHANGE! i need all my change - i worked hard for it - its mine! get to fucken work. and hospital staff. why the fuck does it take so long to get into emergency? get more workers in there! there's ALWAYS a few hours wait - just get enough staff to take care of it. and the people working in there are completely apathetic because they're overworked and overtired - give them regular 8 hour shifts! or even shorter ones - since its a stressful job. but the hospital staff dont want short shifts - i found out they like the overtime! no overtime for you! it costs me too much! plus ur useless after working for a couple hours anyways! instead they bitch about how hard their jobs are and want more pay. hire more staff, pay them less, have them work shorter shifts so they're more rested and work better.
i realise i should spend this energy actually calling the politicians involved with the necessary decision making, but that would take more time and energy than i presently have. but if i do nothing - then i can be damn sure nothing will change! change has to be effected, someone has to push. and even if all the pushing i'm doing right now is bitching about it on my blog, my hope is that if enough people bitch about it, it will become a common enough topic of discussion and finally reach the critical mass needed to effect that change - be it by people feeling the power of the sheer number of people agreeing on the same idea and finally pushing the powers that be from all possible angles, or by the powers that be perceiving this potential and preemptively making the needed changes before the beast wakes up and wreaks some serious havoc.

phew. much better.

2 weeks no pot

thats right - 14 days :)
i like pot, but there's a time and place for it. without me realising it, it'd invaded my life and i kept turning to it for feeling good - but it was impairing me in some ways and finally i decided that i needed to level out emotionally *without* being adversly affected in terms of memory, sexual performance, concentration and comprehension. it may soom odd to some that a shroom trip helped me crystallise these thoughts and finally the decision :)
true - i've been turning to beer for a sort of consolation a bit, but even that's pretty much gone now,so thats awrite :)
if i'm having this much trouble with pot then i'm thankful i never got into anything hardcore :)
i'm sorta toying now with the idea of trying to get somewhere deeper with psychadelics, some sort of understanding, revelation, illumination..? and i still havent really hallucinated yet... :(
sometimes i wonder whether its all bullshit, but then i remember my friend alek's amazing, if frightening, mushroom experience. so it is possible. but perhaps not for everybody :(
but no more unexamined, purely recreational substances :)
but so often, like this evening, i find myself a bit low: i passed yet another day like an ant: went to work, did my stupid work for chump change, under supervisors who are less knowledgeable/intelligent than me, drove home, did some chores, tried rushing off to help parents' friends with their comp problem, got stuck in traffic, wasted a bunch of time, didnt solve the problem, bothered my brother in edmonton with a friggin' free tech support phone call, ended up taking their comp with me to hopefully fix it home, got back home, did chores to only slightly diminish the depressing backlog of shit that still needs to get done and needed to get done for a while now, and then the gf wants to go to sleep... i havent LIVED today yet! i refuse to live out my life doing stuff i dont like or barely tolerate! i'm here for me! it's got to be worthwhile!
so at least i messed with the blog for a bit. oh, did i mention my comp died? good thing my gf's got one of her own - that way we're not *totally* cut off from the world. real life kinda sucks. or maybe i'm going about it all wrong. maybe i'm too pessimistic. how do i get more optimistic?
still gotta shower before hitting the sack...