bleh...

man - its like 11pm - life sux - my gf is on a downer again, unsure of our relationship, went for icecream with a neighbour back home with whom she almost got in a relationship back in the day. i guess i have doubts about us too, but its always harder to be dumped than to dump, sucks not to be in control. plus i'm tired so everything sucks that much extra.
my gf just came back online - guess i'm gonna talk to her.
talking to my gf right now - sounds like the icecream with neighbour didnt go too well...
oh - icecream and movie was fine - but then he said he was going to sleep cause he was tired, and so she left and then a bit later he drove off in his car somewhere - didnt feel like sleeping anymore? maybe.
anywho - my gf is sounding much more positive and sounds more committed to our relationship again. i hate rollercoasters like this. maybe one day we will have to finally decide that our respective ways of living are unacceptable in some way to one another. well, i hope we could remain friends - but that happens so rarely. but i do care for her a lot and want to be there to help when she needs it.

today was such a wasted day. yesterday i went to my boss' barbecue - many hours and vodka shooters later i must have passed out in the bathroom after puking my guts out. and i guess the boss and probably one of the senior tech's must have carried me back to the living room to the couch. yup - that surely must have won me their respect and admiration.
oh well - live and learn.
so today was spent mostly on recuperating from yesterday. i watched most of the 5th element - which i'd bought recently. and read all of my gf's blog for the month.
well - time to get going - i wanna sleep at my gf's place in new west - i should probably still do the dishes there, like i said i would. we'll see.