i just saw "Desperado" - what a stupid movie. there's some cool-ish stuff in it, but i still dont get what the fuck was supposed to be happening. oh well.
i guess i feel like life sucks when whatever happens makes me feel crappy, especially when there's a couple of those things. emotions suck. those bad ones. wish i could turn those bad ones off and just logically figure things out. because i do like those good ones, just hate the bad ones. i guess its kinda like a drug - when u choose to live with one, theres good things and bad things attached. but i guess emotions are a kinda "logic" thats hardwired into us. there is no meaning to life - it just is. we're here - guess might as well do something with it. i keep thinking of getting stoned, but cant avoid thinking that a stoned lifestyle is not all that either - the memory problems, the mood swings after, the logic errors. a friend of mine recently said that life is as you perceive it, and thats all that matters. but just because a problem is not bothering you, doesnt mean that the problem is not there. just fucking problems everywhere. i dont even know what the fuck i'm saying