its been a while since i've had a cool idea in the shower. when i used to smoke the whacky i had them a lot more often.
i was thinking about how i dont think i'm a very self-determined person, and how hard it is for me to make decisions, and most often i just choose to (or not to) ride the waves that come along.
i thought that maybe i should try to get onto the self-determined path and just think about what i want, and then a way to get to it. or better yet - 3 ways, just to force myself to think about the problem for that much longer, giving myself a chance to find a "better" solution. and then just go for it. i'm sure some of these goals will prove to be total blunders. but at least i'll start learning to play the game. maybe along the way i'll find a way to refine my aim. by then i should have good skills to actually get there. the process will be faster, more efficient, automated. noam chomsky says that automation was invented not in order to make things more efficient, but rather to give the management control over an operation - instead of having highly skilled workers, a machine would do all the work, and its overseer would require a much smaller set of skills, therefore he would be less paid and more easily replaced, the replaceability being the key factor. but in my case, i'm shooting for the propagandist purpose of automation - efficiency. i want to just be used to making decisions, determining where i'm going, determining the steps to take to get there. these days i only every now and then have some cool ideas, but they just evaporate away, i forget about them, or just dont follow thru with them. i need to start dealing more with concretes. on the one hand, people who insist on getting facts, concrete information, white or black - they just anoy me. things are often not that simple, there's many things to consider. but how much easier must this kinda behaviour make things for them! while i'm debating the pro's and con's of having white sugar in my coffee or none at all, because there is no brown, they're already driving away to order another shipment of white sugar because business is booming.
i guess thinking in terms of concretes, units, gave rise to spoken words, writing systems, letters and print, mathematics and computers, etc, but we now forgot the other model, the other way of looking at things - that all these seemingly individual things, are part of a whole sytem, our world, our universe.