i think i'm complaining. boogie is starting to cry again, and phx is trying to finally have her breakfast. gots ta go.
Saturday, September 16, 2006
saturday morning
so our boogie went to sleep around 8:30pm or was it 10 pm..? then maybe around 4 am wanted to eat plus pooped her diaper a bit. after that i stayed up for a while to look at some stuff online. then went to sleep. then maybe around 8am boogie woke up again - took a big dump, then wanted to eat. after it was all done we tried to put her crib together - turned out we couldnt find the baggie with half the screws. we went thru a lot of our shit still in boxes and bags - no sign of the screws. i made myself a coffee before starting the crib project. after failing to find the screws i made myself a little breakfast. after breakfast i finally finished my stone-cold coffee. i want another one. i need another one. maybe i could ask tina's friend across the street if she could score me a little rock to put in my coffee
i think i'm complaining. boogie is starting to cry again, and phx is trying to finally have her breakfast. gots ta go.
i think i'm complaining. boogie is starting to cry again, and phx is trying to finally have her breakfast. gots ta go.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
tired. dont know what to write. have fleeting glimpses of ideas, but i'm tired and there isnt enough time to write anything out. at least thats how i feel. maybe just how i feel.
our friends voider and nicole came over yesterday, brought food, cleaned up, showed us a bunch of pics from their euro trip. those two have helped us so much, that now i feel bad because we havent been able to reciprocate yet, and they just keep giving. they are the peeps that left our wedding reception when it was just getting rolling, to go back to our appartment and get the cases of wine we forgot. we better do something soon, or we'll never get out of the hole with those two.
and again no time to write about tina the crack whore...
our friends voider and nicole came over yesterday, brought food, cleaned up, showed us a bunch of pics from their euro trip. those two have helped us so much, that now i feel bad because we havent been able to reciprocate yet, and they just keep giving. they are the peeps that left our wedding reception when it was just getting rolling, to go back to our appartment and get the cases of wine we forgot. we better do something soon, or we'll never get out of the hole with those two.
and again no time to write about tina the crack whore...
Monday, September 11, 2006
it being september 11th, i saw a piece of some kinda show or whatev on the tele about 9/11 this morning, and got slightly miffed about people missing the point yet again: if 9/11 is revealing anything about the nature of god, it surely must be that he is NOT as christianity portrays him, and in fact he probably doesnt exist at all. maybe the vengeful god of the old testament would impart on mankind all these wars, hunger, and general suffering, the least of which was 9/11. whats with this religious/spiritual impulse in people? "thank you sir, may i have another!"
fucken bullshit.
fucken bullshit.
Friday, September 08, 2006
got back home late because benzino and i worked till 7:30pm because peeps are starting to freak out that my shit is not gonna be ready for the occupancy inspection - whenever that may actually happen. i'd say fuck the peeps, but one of them peeps is my boss, so when my boss starts to freak out, i start to freak out. so i wired up the front door so that even if they have a fire alarm test tomorrow, my shit will pass. and thats all the boss really cares about. and everybody else, really - even if nothing else works, in case of fire residents must be able to exit the building safely and the fire department needs to get in trouble-free.
then i had to drive to home depot to pick up a longer concrete bit, because the ones the boss got dont cut it for more than 3 or 4 inches. then i'll have to find an opportunity to submit the goddam receipt to the orifice for reimbursement.
then i drove home and made myself a coffee and checked out my email, etc, finally giving into the fact that i've been needing very badly to at the very least rotate my tires, because i was already wearing thru the bare threads that were exposed on the corner of my front left tire. i finally did it. i've been trying to do it for like a week. another thing i've been trying to do for like a week is to swap out the existing light in Lily's room for the Ikea sun we got. but that had to be put off for yet another day.
and i'm falling asleep in front of the comp.
then i had to drive to home depot to pick up a longer concrete bit, because the ones the boss got dont cut it for more than 3 or 4 inches. then i'll have to find an opportunity to submit the goddam receipt to the orifice for reimbursement.
then i drove home and made myself a coffee and checked out my email, etc, finally giving into the fact that i've been needing very badly to at the very least rotate my tires, because i was already wearing thru the bare threads that were exposed on the corner of my front left tire. i finally did it. i've been trying to do it for like a week. another thing i've been trying to do for like a week is to swap out the existing light in Lily's room for the Ikea sun we got. but that had to be put off for yet another day.
and i'm falling asleep in front of the comp.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
this was a comment i wrote on someone else's blog, and it was so good i had to make it a post in its own right :)
"ah, the unmistakeable call of that bitch, nostalgia...hit me pretty good one time when i was about 12 - my parents were balding and going grey, me and my bro realised they were feeling pretty nostalgic about us growing up into adolescents too, getting hair in odd places and all, which only served to deepen the overwhelming feeling. to boot, it occurred to my lil' bro that we'll probably never see gramma again, because she was already very old and we werent expecting to go back to poland anytime soon. we had a good cry that night.
dude - are you really trying hard to be cool? (or hip, as the case may be.) i remember trying to be cool in highschool, maybe sometimes after that, but i figure most people stop trying hard to be cool before they're 20. i donno if its hormonal, or psychological as a result of a shift in social pressures, or something else, but it seems like it just happens. maybe it wasnt as much trying to be cool, as trying to fit in? maybe its trying to fit in first, and then trying to be cool, from the platform of teenage normalcy. maybe "a" platform - there's the skaters, the goth, the gangsta's (apostrophe is not to separate the "s" but is rather the last char of the word "gangsta'" (now, that doesnt make it much easier to notice, does it)), the geeks. actually, now that i think of it - the goth WERE the geeks - they were the ones playing rpg's [ :) ], etc. but i think also the more of a "computer geek" you were, the less goth you were, and viceversa. so where was i? trying to be cool. or hip, as the case may be. so were you really trying to be hip, or were you just doing what you wanted because u thought it was cool, or hip, without much regard of what it might look like to others? {i love changing tenses within one sentence :) actually, maybe i dont actually lurve it, but i do it for some reason, even when i realise i technically shouldnt. in this case i think the way i wrote it sounded more natural. or looked like it would've sounded more natural, were it actually spoken out loud, that is to say ;) }i wonder if highschool-aged kids tend to take criticism harder because of their hormones, but also tend to be harsher critics because of said hormones. i remember hearing highschool girls going on and on about hating this and hating that, but loving something else or another. no lukewarm feelings about anything at all. but thinking a little more about it all, i also remember kids who seemed innately "just cool". :))i remember this one guy in particular - chris - long mane of hair, surfer/stoner talk, loud, somewhat obnoxious, smoker, laughed loudly a lot, had a cool girlfriend, was funny - people just looked up to him in some ways, or had some kinda respect for him, even though he didnt do that great academically. he didnt seem to be affected by the whole 'trying to fit in' thing. that was junior high. he started piping down in senior high - chopped the hair, wasnt quite as loud anymore. then i saw him a year or 2 ago - he was just a plumber. (maybe the piping down was forshadowing :D) hehe, on the other hand i accidentally ran into one of the highschool geeks at a party a while back, and he'd just sold his roleplaying paraphernalia store and was going to england to blow his monies on bigger and better things. how things have changed :) but yet another twist - i asked said geek about another geek - saul - whom he knew, who was in a few of my classes. this guy was so intelligent, i thought for sure he musta by now got on some kind of UN committee, or is lecturing at some university, or works for some animation studio, since i knew he'd gotten a gov't grant to do a short animated film right after highschool. nope. he did his short film, it fell through the cracks, and that was his last achievement in that department. he now apparently works as some clerk somewhere or something. that just shocked me. he was one of the most intelligent and eloquent people i've ever seen, and i last heard him speak in grade 11, in like '94. just sad.hehe, this should be an entry on my blog, not a comment on yours. ah, whatev :)so where the fuck was i going with this..? i'm at like a tangent off a tangent off a tangent here...right - shenry said, or seemed to have implied he was trying to be hip, and also seemed to be down about it. what i think happened, is that shenry remembered all the good times he'd had at stella's, but then he started realising that those times are probably gone for good because he doesnt hang out with his peeps there like they used to, and the kind of peeps that hang out there now has changed, making even more remote the possibility of those good times ever returning, and it made him sad that he lost something that he cherished so much. people dont like to lose things. adding to those 'negative' or 'low' feelings was the realisation that the new crowd hanging out at stella's was comprised largely of these 30-something year-old yuppies - people who in shenry's subconscious were catalogued as intrinsically uncool, they werent 'real', they were suburbanites, with "real" jobs and money to blow, family people for christ's sakes, yet they were 'trying' to do, to awkwardly emulate, what was defacto reserved for people actually 'living' their lives - namely hanging out at cool spots such as stella's. they invaded it and blanded the shit out of it. then a chilling suspicion creeped into shenry's mind. he was there too, shoulder to shoulder with these, these people. some might even say he fits their demographic... shenry is kinda like, one of them... this probably got shenry into such a pit that his fight-or-flight mechanism kicked in and he bounced. will this episode cause a mid-life crisis type of reaction in shenry? or will he re-evaluate his old preconceptions about "these people" from his "seasoned" point of view, and start looking at them like people who are perhaps like himself in some ways...?
sorry about the "seasoned", dude - it was just right there, i couldnt help it :D
but i agree with ghost, dude - ur cool, and i hope u dont think u've lost something along the way, but rather built an even higher coolness off a platform that kids cant see yet ;)
unless i'm completely wrong and you were actually trying hard to be hip. and you didnt like that because trying hard is just not cool. would your near-obsessive work-out and diet routines, careful personal grooming, playing hackey-sack in public places, frequenting cafe's, bars and clubs which rate high on the rosicrucians' coolness lists, all be manifestations of the odious and repugnant drive towards ultimate hip-dom?
why does shenry do the things he does? and whatever his drives - are they evil? if he cuts, does he bleed..?
;) "
"ah, the unmistakeable call of that bitch, nostalgia...hit me pretty good one time when i was about 12 - my parents were balding and going grey, me and my bro realised they were feeling pretty nostalgic about us growing up into adolescents too, getting hair in odd places and all, which only served to deepen the overwhelming feeling. to boot, it occurred to my lil' bro that we'll probably never see gramma again, because she was already very old and we werent expecting to go back to poland anytime soon. we had a good cry that night.
dude - are you really trying hard to be cool? (or hip, as the case may be.) i remember trying to be cool in highschool, maybe sometimes after that, but i figure most people stop trying hard to be cool before they're 20. i donno if its hormonal, or psychological as a result of a shift in social pressures, or something else, but it seems like it just happens. maybe it wasnt as much trying to be cool, as trying to fit in? maybe its trying to fit in first, and then trying to be cool, from the platform of teenage normalcy. maybe "a" platform - there's the skaters, the goth, the gangsta's (apostrophe is not to separate the "s" but is rather the last char of the word "gangsta'" (now, that doesnt make it much easier to notice, does it)), the geeks. actually, now that i think of it - the goth WERE the geeks - they were the ones playing rpg's [ :) ], etc. but i think also the more of a "computer geek" you were, the less goth you were, and viceversa. so where was i? trying to be cool. or hip, as the case may be. so were you really trying to be hip, or were you just doing what you wanted because u thought it was cool, or hip, without much regard of what it might look like to others? {i love changing tenses within one sentence :) actually, maybe i dont actually lurve it, but i do it for some reason, even when i realise i technically shouldnt. in this case i think the way i wrote it sounded more natural. or looked like it would've sounded more natural, were it actually spoken out loud, that is to say ;) }i wonder if highschool-aged kids tend to take criticism harder because of their hormones, but also tend to be harsher critics because of said hormones. i remember hearing highschool girls going on and on about hating this and hating that, but loving something else or another. no lukewarm feelings about anything at all. but thinking a little more about it all, i also remember kids who seemed innately "just cool". :))i remember this one guy in particular - chris - long mane of hair, surfer/stoner talk, loud, somewhat obnoxious, smoker, laughed loudly a lot, had a cool girlfriend, was funny - people just looked up to him in some ways, or had some kinda respect for him, even though he didnt do that great academically. he didnt seem to be affected by the whole 'trying to fit in' thing. that was junior high. he started piping down in senior high - chopped the hair, wasnt quite as loud anymore. then i saw him a year or 2 ago - he was just a plumber. (maybe the piping down was forshadowing :D) hehe, on the other hand i accidentally ran into one of the highschool geeks at a party a while back, and he'd just sold his roleplaying paraphernalia store and was going to england to blow his monies on bigger and better things. how things have changed :) but yet another twist - i asked said geek about another geek - saul - whom he knew, who was in a few of my classes. this guy was so intelligent, i thought for sure he musta by now got on some kind of UN committee, or is lecturing at some university, or works for some animation studio, since i knew he'd gotten a gov't grant to do a short animated film right after highschool. nope. he did his short film, it fell through the cracks, and that was his last achievement in that department. he now apparently works as some clerk somewhere or something. that just shocked me. he was one of the most intelligent and eloquent people i've ever seen, and i last heard him speak in grade 11, in like '94. just sad.hehe, this should be an entry on my blog, not a comment on yours. ah, whatev :)so where the fuck was i going with this..? i'm at like a tangent off a tangent off a tangent here...right - shenry said, or seemed to have implied he was trying to be hip, and also seemed to be down about it. what i think happened, is that shenry remembered all the good times he'd had at stella's, but then he started realising that those times are probably gone for good because he doesnt hang out with his peeps there like they used to, and the kind of peeps that hang out there now has changed, making even more remote the possibility of those good times ever returning, and it made him sad that he lost something that he cherished so much. people dont like to lose things. adding to those 'negative' or 'low' feelings was the realisation that the new crowd hanging out at stella's was comprised largely of these 30-something year-old yuppies - people who in shenry's subconscious were catalogued as intrinsically uncool, they werent 'real', they were suburbanites, with "real" jobs and money to blow, family people for christ's sakes, yet they were 'trying' to do, to awkwardly emulate, what was defacto reserved for people actually 'living' their lives - namely hanging out at cool spots such as stella's. they invaded it and blanded the shit out of it. then a chilling suspicion creeped into shenry's mind. he was there too, shoulder to shoulder with these, these people. some might even say he fits their demographic... shenry is kinda like, one of them... this probably got shenry into such a pit that his fight-or-flight mechanism kicked in and he bounced. will this episode cause a mid-life crisis type of reaction in shenry? or will he re-evaluate his old preconceptions about "these people" from his "seasoned" point of view, and start looking at them like people who are perhaps like himself in some ways...?
sorry about the "seasoned", dude - it was just right there, i couldnt help it :D
but i agree with ghost, dude - ur cool, and i hope u dont think u've lost something along the way, but rather built an even higher coolness off a platform that kids cant see yet ;)
unless i'm completely wrong and you were actually trying hard to be hip. and you didnt like that because trying hard is just not cool. would your near-obsessive work-out and diet routines, careful personal grooming, playing hackey-sack in public places, frequenting cafe's, bars and clubs which rate high on the rosicrucians' coolness lists, all be manifestations of the odious and repugnant drive towards ultimate hip-dom?
why does shenry do the things he does? and whatever his drives - are they evil? if he cuts, does he bleed..?
;) "
Thursday, August 31, 2006
i dont wanna work, i just wanna bang on a drum all day - lalala...
my work starts in 10 minutes. i now live probably a 45 minute drive from work. instead of sitting miserably in traffic, i'm still at home, surfing the net off somebody's unprotected wifi. maybe i could go to the supplier's and pick up something for work, thus excusing my retardiness to nearly zero.
my work starts in 10 minutes. i now live probably a 45 minute drive from work. instead of sitting miserably in traffic, i'm still at home, surfing the net off somebody's unprotected wifi. maybe i could go to the supplier's and pick up something for work, thus excusing my retardiness to nearly zero.
Friday, August 18, 2006
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
ah, the joys of daddyhood :)
just spent my first (nearly) sleepless night for my boogie :)
first i was researching whether its ok for babies to drink cows' milk - turns out they cant process the protein very well, and it has to be broken down. basically all websites now seem to be saying that baby formula making is so strictly regulated that it is impossible to ever achieve the quality that commercially available formula have, if u were to try and make ur own at home, so dont even try! that just sounds wrong. even if it is true. so other than mother's milk, you have to pay for a chemical soup for you baby, and it is unconscionable to do anything else. phx and her bro's were raised on home-made formula. i know ur not supposed to apostrophesizeate "bro's" but i felt it should be made immediately visually clear that "bro" is the root of the word, and then its just a small step for man to jump to the conclusion that its an abbrev of "brother". and thats right - period after quotation mark, because the period wasnt part of the quote. other than that, i got very lazy about putting apostrophes where they belong, if the meaning is clear. i didnt stop using them because i didnt know where they go. went. omg, torture... hehe, where's the verb in that one, eh? ha! and i used an apostrophe! maybe i just delude myself that there's reason to my apostrophe madness.
our boogie is breastfed, but recently she's been wanting to eat a lot more, it seems. this seems to have coincided with a new feeding regimen recommended by a lactation specialist we went to the other day. maybe the new regimen fucked it all up. how are we to know? everybody and their fucken dog seems to have a different theory about baby feeding.
so boogie woke me up around 3 something this morning. maybe it was around 4. phx fed her according to the new regimen - still hungry. i burped her while phx expressed a bit more, then we fed her that - still hungry. i warmed her up some milk we had stored from last nite - still hungry. phx and her mom bought the ingredients to make home made formula tomorrow - but we needed it right now! who knew. so daddy put on his shirt and shorts, because his full length pants were in the bedroom where phx' mom sleeps, and scooted off to the local 7-11. they only had one kind of formula. scoot home, prep it, feed boogie - finally she got so drunk that while walking her around to relieve her obvious need for burping, she passed out. daddy was so happy :) happy are the parents whose child finally falls asleep content :)
look at me - blogging away about baby stuff - how things have changed :)
just spent my first (nearly) sleepless night for my boogie :)
first i was researching whether its ok for babies to drink cows' milk - turns out they cant process the protein very well, and it has to be broken down. basically all websites now seem to be saying that baby formula making is so strictly regulated that it is impossible to ever achieve the quality that commercially available formula have, if u were to try and make ur own at home, so dont even try! that just sounds wrong. even if it is true. so other than mother's milk, you have to pay for a chemical soup for you baby, and it is unconscionable to do anything else. phx and her bro's were raised on home-made formula. i know ur not supposed to apostrophesizeate "bro's" but i felt it should be made immediately visually clear that "bro" is the root of the word, and then its just a small step for man to jump to the conclusion that its an abbrev of "brother". and thats right - period after quotation mark, because the period wasnt part of the quote. other than that, i got very lazy about putting apostrophes where they belong, if the meaning is clear. i didnt stop using them because i didnt know where they go. went. omg, torture... hehe, where's the verb in that one, eh? ha! and i used an apostrophe! maybe i just delude myself that there's reason to my apostrophe madness.
our boogie is breastfed, but recently she's been wanting to eat a lot more, it seems. this seems to have coincided with a new feeding regimen recommended by a lactation specialist we went to the other day. maybe the new regimen fucked it all up. how are we to know? everybody and their fucken dog seems to have a different theory about baby feeding.
so boogie woke me up around 3 something this morning. maybe it was around 4. phx fed her according to the new regimen - still hungry. i burped her while phx expressed a bit more, then we fed her that - still hungry. i warmed her up some milk we had stored from last nite - still hungry. phx and her mom bought the ingredients to make home made formula tomorrow - but we needed it right now! who knew. so daddy put on his shirt and shorts, because his full length pants were in the bedroom where phx' mom sleeps, and scooted off to the local 7-11. they only had one kind of formula. scoot home, prep it, feed boogie - finally she got so drunk that while walking her around to relieve her obvious need for burping, she passed out. daddy was so happy :) happy are the parents whose child finally falls asleep content :)
look at me - blogging away about baby stuff - how things have changed :)
Sunday, August 06, 2006
i'm not the avid, or rather addict blogger that my wife is, so i havent posted about the very recent arrival of our long awaited little bean - no aka Liliana - but we seem to just call her Lily :)
she's very cute, but recently mostly when she sleeps :) the poor thing has been having trouble with breastfeeding - she knows to suck, but gets freaked out when something actually comes out - i dont think i'd have to ask shenry to refrain, but then again, i just wrote this, so, where does that put us..?
awkward moments aside, i think Lily's jaundice was also making it harder for her, but she seems to have turned the corner just last night - after sunbathing for the whole afternoon, her jaundice seems to have subsided considerably, although the white of her eyes is still somewhat green, but her skin doesnt look like an orange anymore, and since about midnight she's been eating every 2-3 hours, like everybody says babies should, not every 7 like before. so it's been a bit of a sleepless night, and poor phx is just exhausted. and Lily has also been eating more consistently, with a much higher amount of long latches. hehe - look at me, using da baby lingo like it aint nuthin' but a thang, yos :) but she still gets these frantic lil' bouts when she's just too agitated to latch on and stay on.
ha! i just heard her cry out - back for another feedin' :)
but we love her so... :)
she's very cute, but recently mostly when she sleeps :) the poor thing has been having trouble with breastfeeding - she knows to suck, but gets freaked out when something actually comes out - i dont think i'd have to ask shenry to refrain, but then again, i just wrote this, so, where does that put us..?
awkward moments aside, i think Lily's jaundice was also making it harder for her, but she seems to have turned the corner just last night - after sunbathing for the whole afternoon, her jaundice seems to have subsided considerably, although the white of her eyes is still somewhat green, but her skin doesnt look like an orange anymore, and since about midnight she's been eating every 2-3 hours, like everybody says babies should, not every 7 like before. so it's been a bit of a sleepless night, and poor phx is just exhausted. and Lily has also been eating more consistently, with a much higher amount of long latches. hehe - look at me, using da baby lingo like it aint nuthin' but a thang, yos :) but she still gets these frantic lil' bouts when she's just too agitated to latch on and stay on.
ha! i just heard her cry out - back for another feedin' :)
but we love her so... :)
Friday, July 28, 2006
i was thinking recently - a dangerous pastime, i know (where is that line from, anyways?) - and i think i've finally been able to make the distinction between terrorists and guerrillas/partisans - they're both small (para-) military organisations, much smaller than their enemy, who usually happens to be a government, with an actual, full-sized, well funded military, but to me, the guerrillas, partisans, resistance forces, etc, focus on just fighting the man = the government and its military, while the terrorists attack regular, normal people. i got no respect for terrorists. leave the average joe out of your stupid conflicts! attack only those that you have a problem with, and leave the people who are just trying to live their lives, raise families, work at their jobs, and just lead normal schmuck lives. if you have a problem with someone, deal with that person, not with everybody in their country. stupid massive armed conflicts made me a firm believer in assassination - kill only the person you have a problem with - you'll let normal people keep living, and it might end up costing you less.
of course this post is about the most recent killing spree between israel and hezbollah, but its also about all other armed conflicts out there. so some hezbollah jerks had enough sitting at home and trying to live a normal life, which they probably were never good at, so they kidnapped some israeli soldiers and killed some of them. well, at least they were military. so israel starts bombing whole residential neighbourhoods in lebanon! i'd call that a terrorist act. even 9/11 was an attempt to get at get at the man's financial (twin towers) and military (pentagon) sides (if the pentagon was actually hit by a plane at all). but even 9/11 should have been done with no civilian casualties - it can be done! so the hezbollah launch rockets at a rush-hour train station crowds, etc, stooping to israel's level. not that they havent done that before. i still believe that israel is in the wrong to start with because they're the ones that invaded and occupied the land and called it israel. sure, historically they used to live there, but then they were gone, and all of a sudden they came back en masse because they were tired of being kicked around and persecuted in europe. well guess what - that land wasnt just sitting there waiting for you to come back, other people were living there! but every conflict can be resolved without resorting to mass killing.
of course this post is about the most recent killing spree between israel and hezbollah, but its also about all other armed conflicts out there. so some hezbollah jerks had enough sitting at home and trying to live a normal life, which they probably were never good at, so they kidnapped some israeli soldiers and killed some of them. well, at least they were military. so israel starts bombing whole residential neighbourhoods in lebanon! i'd call that a terrorist act. even 9/11 was an attempt to get at get at the man's financial (twin towers) and military (pentagon) sides (if the pentagon was actually hit by a plane at all). but even 9/11 should have been done with no civilian casualties - it can be done! so the hezbollah launch rockets at a rush-hour train station crowds, etc, stooping to israel's level. not that they havent done that before. i still believe that israel is in the wrong to start with because they're the ones that invaded and occupied the land and called it israel. sure, historically they used to live there, but then they were gone, and all of a sudden they came back en masse because they were tired of being kicked around and persecuted in europe. well guess what - that land wasnt just sitting there waiting for you to come back, other people were living there! but every conflict can be resolved without resorting to mass killing.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
approaching the transcendental object at the end of time
things are speeding up and getting crazier and crazier. or are they more and more crazy..? bah - no time for semantics. or propper grammar. "the crib project" is still going strong. bought a used wooden crib. noticed it had some scratches on it. thought i could sand them down and touch it up. then thought that it would be obvious where it was touched up, even if i found a good match for the veneer or whatever it is. so i thunk i'd just sand the whole bloody thing and recoat it with some thing nicer, more transparent. sanded one surface of one endpiece down with an electric sander, and thought there must be a better way. home depot sells these paint-on strippers - jusrt remove them mess with a putty knife. big mistake. the crap softened the wood more than the veneer, and so it was impossible to get it all off properly, so most of the crap just dried on, making the wood even darker, but still sticky, and the putty knife scarred the wood like a bitch. we went on to try and wipe at least some of the goop off with a paint thinnner, and sand the rest down. this has worked ok. i must have put like 4 full days of work into this by now, with other people helping too. i could have bought more than one brand new crib by now if i'd spent the time working. thats a big price to pay to learn a thing or 2 about woodwork. the crib is finally sanded and i test painted the first coat of the veneer onto a small area of the crib - we'll see how it turns out. its a crazy heat wave over here. i had sweat dripping down my face when installing the car seat for the baby. lots of swearing, but its done. noe just gotta certify it or whatever it is they do. phx' feet keep swelling like crazy, but she keeps helping. i'm very lucky to have her for a wife :)
i better get going help her prep breakfast and then onto our new place - try to fix the walls and test wash the carpet - see if its worth keeping.
i better get going help her prep breakfast and then onto our new place - try to fix the walls and test wash the carpet - see if its worth keeping.
Monday, July 17, 2006
thx for the birthday wishes toi! ;)
yeah, my birthday was a nice surprise, although it almost wasnt a surprise because i started to pick up too many little suspicious bits. but i like to be surprised so i usually let my surprisers do what they set out to do :) and it was fun! put on some tunage i like, started pounding back the brewskies, talked about some cool shizznit wit' da peeps, had a toke, went to the bar, had 2 rounds of tequila and a round of goddam 151 - that shit is just vile. and some more beers. then we drove thru mcdix and pigged out on greasy-ass food to coat our guts in grease so less alco-ma-hol would get absorbed, as well as having some of it absorbed into the bun, and diluted it all with the pop - think i had root beer... i like root beer :) only possibly second to sarsaparrilla :)
next morning / mid-day was... delicate, but didnt get to do any heaveage, which is always a deffinite bonus:) just watched the world cup final, and by the time the italians won, i was ready to be happy with them :)
good times were had by all:) except for the bit when Tara freaked out a bit after toking a bit too much and almost losing her eyesight and hearing for a few minutes. hehe - or like the last time she forgot she'd been eating black liquorice and then freaked out when she noticed her tongue was black - wish i'd been there :D
yeah, my birthday was a nice surprise, although it almost wasnt a surprise because i started to pick up too many little suspicious bits. but i like to be surprised so i usually let my surprisers do what they set out to do :) and it was fun! put on some tunage i like, started pounding back the brewskies, talked about some cool shizznit wit' da peeps, had a toke, went to the bar, had 2 rounds of tequila and a round of goddam 151 - that shit is just vile. and some more beers. then we drove thru mcdix and pigged out on greasy-ass food to coat our guts in grease so less alco-ma-hol would get absorbed, as well as having some of it absorbed into the bun, and diluted it all with the pop - think i had root beer... i like root beer :) only possibly second to sarsaparrilla :)
next morning / mid-day was... delicate, but didnt get to do any heaveage, which is always a deffinite bonus:) just watched the world cup final, and by the time the italians won, i was ready to be happy with them :)
good times were had by all:) except for the bit when Tara freaked out a bit after toking a bit too much and almost losing her eyesight and hearing for a few minutes. hehe - or like the last time she forgot she'd been eating black liquorice and then freaked out when she noticed her tongue was black - wish i'd been there :D
Sunday, June 18, 2006
ah, what a turmoil of events - Phx' bros stayed with us for a few days, the edmonton oilers are doing surprisingly well on this comeback of theirs - we'll see if they actually win the cup tomorrow! :)
poland got their asses kicked by germany - kinda played hookey from work to see that one, or at least half of it :) it was a good game, but finally in the first minute of overtime the better team scored a very good goal. too bad the fans couldnt keep their pants on later.
went to the annual dragonboat races, which turned out to be mostly a big corporate presence gig with a lot of crappy volunteering and seemingly only a few decent volunteers actually trying hard to hold it all together. i dont know what they feel they get out of it. maybe i should ask them.
finally finished rigging together a semi-acceptable automated irrigation dealy for my 'rents, only to realise that i could have probably just used an off-the-shelf $20 timer and a lot less work for probably better results. where's that critical thinking when u need it. oh well, at least didnt spend $20 and learned a little something.
started wondering about maybe moving way out of the city and getting a job way out there, but then got into a catch 22: if i change jobs now, i wont be able to get a mortgage based on zero months at a company. if we buy a place out there somewhere, i'll have to commute from very far away in horrible traffic until i find something better out there. if i find something better. so we finally decided that we'll just comtinue with the present plan, and then slowly start looking at a better job out there, and if i do find one, its always easier to commute against traffic than with traffic. but i'll lose the 3 weeks vacation i should start getting this year.
a buddy wants me to do a job in a remote location - they'd fly me out into the bush and hopefully i'd get this done in 3 days. they'd pay well. but i'd probably have to take those 3 days off during the week - meaning it would come off my vacation time. the company i'm working for full time might not feel comfortable at the moment giving me 3 days off on short notice, especially in light of the fact that i'll be asking for like a week or 10 days off when our baby arrives - very soon. but the pay would be very good.
i've been thinking again about how to increase my income, while at the same time decrease the effort put into it. i thunk about how i had a few mediocre ideas, but didnt actually try implementing any of them, partly because they were mediocre. but then i got to thinking about how probably most ppl who finaly made it big with an idea, tried a few different ideas first, which didnt work out. and that brought me to a fact i am well aware of - that i'm not a doer, but rather a thinker. so i thunk i should really start exercising my will, not be such a spectator, but actually set some goals, set out a plan of action to achieve them, and then just follow the steps to achieve them! right now a big time waster for me is the computer - i use like i used to use TV: it's an escape. i should set out what goals i want to achieve before i turn the damned thing on. i sorta did this already - i wanted to write this blog entry, then go into the classifieds to lower my car price by $500, check email and go to sleep.
we'll see how it turns out! :)
poland got their asses kicked by germany - kinda played hookey from work to see that one, or at least half of it :) it was a good game, but finally in the first minute of overtime the better team scored a very good goal. too bad the fans couldnt keep their pants on later.
went to the annual dragonboat races, which turned out to be mostly a big corporate presence gig with a lot of crappy volunteering and seemingly only a few decent volunteers actually trying hard to hold it all together. i dont know what they feel they get out of it. maybe i should ask them.
finally finished rigging together a semi-acceptable automated irrigation dealy for my 'rents, only to realise that i could have probably just used an off-the-shelf $20 timer and a lot less work for probably better results. where's that critical thinking when u need it. oh well, at least didnt spend $20 and learned a little something.
started wondering about maybe moving way out of the city and getting a job way out there, but then got into a catch 22: if i change jobs now, i wont be able to get a mortgage based on zero months at a company. if we buy a place out there somewhere, i'll have to commute from very far away in horrible traffic until i find something better out there. if i find something better. so we finally decided that we'll just comtinue with the present plan, and then slowly start looking at a better job out there, and if i do find one, its always easier to commute against traffic than with traffic. but i'll lose the 3 weeks vacation i should start getting this year.
a buddy wants me to do a job in a remote location - they'd fly me out into the bush and hopefully i'd get this done in 3 days. they'd pay well. but i'd probably have to take those 3 days off during the week - meaning it would come off my vacation time. the company i'm working for full time might not feel comfortable at the moment giving me 3 days off on short notice, especially in light of the fact that i'll be asking for like a week or 10 days off when our baby arrives - very soon. but the pay would be very good.
i've been thinking again about how to increase my income, while at the same time decrease the effort put into it. i thunk about how i had a few mediocre ideas, but didnt actually try implementing any of them, partly because they were mediocre. but then i got to thinking about how probably most ppl who finaly made it big with an idea, tried a few different ideas first, which didnt work out. and that brought me to a fact i am well aware of - that i'm not a doer, but rather a thinker. so i thunk i should really start exercising my will, not be such a spectator, but actually set some goals, set out a plan of action to achieve them, and then just follow the steps to achieve them! right now a big time waster for me is the computer - i use like i used to use TV: it's an escape. i should set out what goals i want to achieve before i turn the damned thing on. i sorta did this already - i wanted to write this blog entry, then go into the classifieds to lower my car price by $500, check email and go to sleep.
we'll see how it turns out! :)
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
booze, sun, and philosophy
ok, so it was gonna be "booze, drugs, and philosophy", but the druggiest it got was tylenol extra strength. oh, and there was pot.
went camping this may long weekend, same bat-place as last year, but in my fuzzy recollections there was a lake, not a river. well, this year it was a river :)
the boyz improved on their last year's hot tub design, and instead of digging a hole in the ground and lining it with a tarp they just bought a ginormous inflatamable pool. and used a bigger pipe to make the heating coil with. but only one pump. there was some fancy hydraulics in the plans, but i dont rem why it ultimately wouldnt work, or what the hell it was to actually do in the first place, although it kinda looked like they wanted to suck the water directly out of the river thru these pipes instead of using buckets. or actually just big coolers, or bins of some sort.
by evening the thing got hot enough that it was still comfortable when it started to rain. when it started getting colder somebody brought a tarp and we just pulled it over ourselves and the pool. it was awrite :)
oh the fond memories - passing the bottle of vodka around, followed by the chaser cup... being slammed into the pool from behind and hurting some chix legs with my jaw. i think nothing happened to me because i was so drunk :) and i got back at the dork that pushed me in by dragging him into the pool when he got near enough :)
nobody got my new favourite joke of "whats blue and doesnt fit anymore?" though... :(
and nobody liked my tunage, like "rubber bullets", by 10cc apparently.
oh well.
had some cool wondrous moments. i hatched a theory on my buddy that sounded something like "a high incidence of stupid but good looking chix in a society may be advantageous to said society by way of lowering the average level of sexual frustration and aggression of intelligent but aggressive males, thereby promoting cooperation as opposed to competition." sounds chauvinistic, but it was funny at the time :)
then i really got to wunderin', and started wondering why the earth's magnetic polarity keeps shifting and even reversing. i believe that the earth's overall polarity is the sum effect of the polarities of all the magnetic particles in earth, but my questions was: what makes all those particles face the way they face? what about other planets' magnetic fields - are they aligned with ours? or is every body independent? i guess i should look for the answers online...
another thunk i had was "why are there so many relatively small rocks in the world?" when big earthquakes happen, do they make the bedrock brake into all these small crumbs? or are there first huge rocks and then the elements break them down over eons? i start feeling impatient when i consider that to be the case. that would just take too long.
went camping this may long weekend, same bat-place as last year, but in my fuzzy recollections there was a lake, not a river. well, this year it was a river :)
the boyz improved on their last year's hot tub design, and instead of digging a hole in the ground and lining it with a tarp they just bought a ginormous inflatamable pool. and used a bigger pipe to make the heating coil with. but only one pump. there was some fancy hydraulics in the plans, but i dont rem why it ultimately wouldnt work, or what the hell it was to actually do in the first place, although it kinda looked like they wanted to suck the water directly out of the river thru these pipes instead of using buckets. or actually just big coolers, or bins of some sort.
by evening the thing got hot enough that it was still comfortable when it started to rain. when it started getting colder somebody brought a tarp and we just pulled it over ourselves and the pool. it was awrite :)
oh the fond memories - passing the bottle of vodka around, followed by the chaser cup... being slammed into the pool from behind and hurting some chix legs with my jaw. i think nothing happened to me because i was so drunk :) and i got back at the dork that pushed me in by dragging him into the pool when he got near enough :)
nobody got my new favourite joke of "whats blue and doesnt fit anymore?" though... :(
and nobody liked my tunage, like "rubber bullets", by 10cc apparently.
oh well.
had some cool wondrous moments. i hatched a theory on my buddy that sounded something like "a high incidence of stupid but good looking chix in a society may be advantageous to said society by way of lowering the average level of sexual frustration and aggression of intelligent but aggressive males, thereby promoting cooperation as opposed to competition." sounds chauvinistic, but it was funny at the time :)
then i really got to wunderin', and started wondering why the earth's magnetic polarity keeps shifting and even reversing. i believe that the earth's overall polarity is the sum effect of the polarities of all the magnetic particles in earth, but my questions was: what makes all those particles face the way they face? what about other planets' magnetic fields - are they aligned with ours? or is every body independent? i guess i should look for the answers online...
another thunk i had was "why are there so many relatively small rocks in the world?" when big earthquakes happen, do they make the bedrock brake into all these small crumbs? or are there first huge rocks and then the elements break them down over eons? i start feeling impatient when i consider that to be the case. that would just take too long.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
trying to pack for camping, but its midnight, i'm kinda tired, and theres still a bit to do. i had dreams of doing something different while camping this time - why go to all this trouble, drive so far into "wilderness", just to sit in one spot and get loaded, recover till noon next day, then repeat. twice. i mean, i think i tend to try and take some of this nature in a wee bit, but this time i wanted to do a little project - maybe build a raft out of whatever is available, or like a shack. but building a raft then trying to take it to the other shore of the lake, or to an island - that would rawk! :)
but i havent done my research, got no plan, so i guess we'll really have to try and improvise - big time. too late to grab a cordless drill from work and some big screws. but i wonder if i could find some big nails at my 'rents tomorrow morning... and a hammer. no - a hatchet would be more useful :) hmm, a couple more minutes pondering this and i will have a plan! :D but its supposed to rain a bit all day tomorrow. well, hope all the peeps already there have put up a tarp so we can have a fire... on which i can roast these kick-ass cheddar+jalapeno smokies i got today! :) man, havent had those in years... good times :)
talked to mr. mo for a bit today. the dude's got some interesting things to say sometimes. i thought he was from kenya so i asked him - yes he was. so i told him how i know this chick who went down to kenya to volunteer at a countryside orphanage for a bit, and then she's planning to make her way down to south africa. mr. mo said that apparently there's lots of volunteers and people like that in kenya, and quite a few english teachers, etc, but he said that a lot of them are "fubus". waza? "cia" he says. whaa???
turns out that kenya is quite the melting pot, with many different peoples, and among them refugees, as well as "terrorists" (he used the "finger quotation marks") and other people who are hiding out for some reason or another. and so there's apparently a bit of an intelligence agent community present, mostly to gather info. right away i thought of Interzone out of the movie "Naked Lunch", which i've vowed to one day actually buy and watch for a third time , but sober for a change. so far i think i quite like it :) i found out recently that it was made by the same guy that did "eXistenZ" or whatev the spelling, which i bought long ago but only recently finally watched. what a psychedelic dude - really funky shit. i think its david cronenberg.
so anyways, it was pretty cool to hear a bit of an opinion on africa from someone from there - i guess the word would be a "native". apparently theres quite an ethnic indian population in kenya, but apparently the perception of them by the black population is that they're not hard workers and all they do is talk about people behind their backs. but other than that, mr. mo says that people in east africa are generally friendly and welcoming. but the further north and west you go in africa, the worse the people get. apparently the people in northern sudan think themselves to be arabs and therefore superior to the non-arab population. cool to hear interesting little bits of info, even if it is somebody's opinion - right or wrong.
ok, its a quarter after 1 am - better finish packing and get to bed :)
but i havent done my research, got no plan, so i guess we'll really have to try and improvise - big time. too late to grab a cordless drill from work and some big screws. but i wonder if i could find some big nails at my 'rents tomorrow morning... and a hammer. no - a hatchet would be more useful :) hmm, a couple more minutes pondering this and i will have a plan! :D but its supposed to rain a bit all day tomorrow. well, hope all the peeps already there have put up a tarp so we can have a fire... on which i can roast these kick-ass cheddar+jalapeno smokies i got today! :) man, havent had those in years... good times :)
talked to mr. mo for a bit today. the dude's got some interesting things to say sometimes. i thought he was from kenya so i asked him - yes he was. so i told him how i know this chick who went down to kenya to volunteer at a countryside orphanage for a bit, and then she's planning to make her way down to south africa. mr. mo said that apparently there's lots of volunteers and people like that in kenya, and quite a few english teachers, etc, but he said that a lot of them are "fubus". waza? "cia" he says. whaa???
turns out that kenya is quite the melting pot, with many different peoples, and among them refugees, as well as "terrorists" (he used the "finger quotation marks") and other people who are hiding out for some reason or another. and so there's apparently a bit of an intelligence agent community present, mostly to gather info. right away i thought of Interzone out of the movie "Naked Lunch", which i've vowed to one day actually buy and watch for a third time , but sober for a change. so far i think i quite like it :) i found out recently that it was made by the same guy that did "eXistenZ" or whatev the spelling, which i bought long ago but only recently finally watched. what a psychedelic dude - really funky shit. i think its david cronenberg.
so anyways, it was pretty cool to hear a bit of an opinion on africa from someone from there - i guess the word would be a "native". apparently theres quite an ethnic indian population in kenya, but apparently the perception of them by the black population is that they're not hard workers and all they do is talk about people behind their backs. but other than that, mr. mo says that people in east africa are generally friendly and welcoming. but the further north and west you go in africa, the worse the people get. apparently the people in northern sudan think themselves to be arabs and therefore superior to the non-arab population. cool to hear interesting little bits of info, even if it is somebody's opinion - right or wrong.
ok, its a quarter after 1 am - better finish packing and get to bed :)
Thursday, May 11, 2006
the life quaquatic
we watched "The Life Aquatic" recently. it wasnt really all that, but it's got its points. i really like the locations, like in "The Royal Tennenbaums" by the same director. i think i've noticed the dude often sets the camera either somewhat low, or in some other way tries to include all of a room/space in the screen, with some really cool floor shots, cool looking lobbies, hallways, alleys, etc. and i dont know what it is, but it seems the picture is often crisper than in other movies. hehe - i wouldnt make a very good movie critic :) i've never particularly liked bill murray because his face seems expressionless most of the time, but i guess thats what he gets hired for - some people must like that i guess. he's much more alive behind the scenes in "the making of". there's a bunch of cool things in this movie, and i think its the unexpected stuff in it - like the pace or mood of the movie is pretty chill, but then there's these gunfight scenes - pretty cool. and the music is priceless - like the soundtrack is this cheap 80's synth tunage - pretty sweet :) another part of the soundtack is having this black dude, who later on i found is the brazillian musician seu jorge, singing acoustic adaptations of david bowie songs in portuguese. i like the sound of portuguese - it used to sound russian to me, and there's something about portuguese-language music that's unique, but i guess i dont know enough about music to really analyse it. actually, probably most of the examples i can think of are brazillian, so maybe i just like brazillian music. acoustic music especially, i think. i thought seu jorge sang/played out of tune sometimes, and maybe he did and they still put it in the movie, or maybe i heard wrong, but some other times i really liked what he did. i think he gave these classic songs a new, more sentimental sound, and it really fit well. supposedly his portuguese lyrics arent really that good, but to someone who doesnt understand, its just got this cool sound to it :) it seems like most people end up liking his version of "Life on Mars?" and something else - i was just taken in by the life on mars so much that i dont know what else i might have liked. plus the dude's deep, black voice, probably seasoned by what seems like chain-smoking, makes the tunes sound so much better! i never really got into bowie's whiny bits. anywho, looks like seu jorge is coming to town in june, so i'm pretty psyched and am gonna try to get some tickets :)
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
i havent posted forever, and just felt like doing it again after reading other ppl's blogs for a while. i keep seeing evidence of me being much more into "intake" of the world around me rather than any kind of creative activity.
phx is asleep - i presume. she's been having lots of trouble sleeping again recently. i still wanted to look at mortgage rates out there, and answer a buddy's email, thanking him for all the info on buying a place. and i wanted to answer my bro's email he sent me - 2 emails actually - but only pics in them. he went to azerbaijan again to visit his wife - they seem happy :) i'm worrying a bit about him - he was never into any kinds of drugs, but it seems since he moved across the mountains he's experienced some substances that i never have and would be reluctant to because, well, people turn into junkies and die from them. i dont know how much he liked those things, how much if at all he still does them, how much he's educated himself about them. maybe i should send him a couple links to erowid.org.
when he was in town a few days ago because he had a lay-over here on his way to azerbaijan, he mentioned something about how he felt all excited but like speedy, licking his gums as if he just snorted. this was relating to his general state of excitation about the trip, but the question keeps gnawing at me - why the fuck would he know that? it doesnt completely consume me, but it keeps popping up. i guess it bugs me enough, because last night i had a dream where he was telling me all about G. he used to know nothing about drugs, and he didnt care about them at all. if he were only the type to educate himself about this kinda shit. if he was getting into psychedelics, i wouldnt bat an eye, maybe i'd smile. people dont die off that. dont become junkies. dont spend big money on it. they usually have enriching experiences. at worst, they become burnouts after years and years of really beating their brains. people on uppers keep chasing the fleeting high, run outta money, steal, fuck up their bodies, probably eventually die. people on downers keep trying to get a little better every time, ruining their life and the lives of those around them in the process. until they OD.
maybe i'm seeing all black because its late at night. but i sure hope my little bro doesnt fuck it up for himself...
phx is asleep - i presume. she's been having lots of trouble sleeping again recently. i still wanted to look at mortgage rates out there, and answer a buddy's email, thanking him for all the info on buying a place. and i wanted to answer my bro's email he sent me - 2 emails actually - but only pics in them. he went to azerbaijan again to visit his wife - they seem happy :) i'm worrying a bit about him - he was never into any kinds of drugs, but it seems since he moved across the mountains he's experienced some substances that i never have and would be reluctant to because, well, people turn into junkies and die from them. i dont know how much he liked those things, how much if at all he still does them, how much he's educated himself about them. maybe i should send him a couple links to erowid.org.
when he was in town a few days ago because he had a lay-over here on his way to azerbaijan, he mentioned something about how he felt all excited but like speedy, licking his gums as if he just snorted. this was relating to his general state of excitation about the trip, but the question keeps gnawing at me - why the fuck would he know that? it doesnt completely consume me, but it keeps popping up. i guess it bugs me enough, because last night i had a dream where he was telling me all about G. he used to know nothing about drugs, and he didnt care about them at all. if he were only the type to educate himself about this kinda shit. if he was getting into psychedelics, i wouldnt bat an eye, maybe i'd smile. people dont die off that. dont become junkies. dont spend big money on it. they usually have enriching experiences. at worst, they become burnouts after years and years of really beating their brains. people on uppers keep chasing the fleeting high, run outta money, steal, fuck up their bodies, probably eventually die. people on downers keep trying to get a little better every time, ruining their life and the lives of those around them in the process. until they OD.
maybe i'm seeing all black because its late at night. but i sure hope my little bro doesnt fuck it up for himself...
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
well, today is a decidedly better day :)
even though its 6:50 am and i still gota shower and go to work...
my recent raise to $21/hr left me feeling worse than any previous raise. probably because i went in with higher expectations. and i lost my nerve when the bosses spun the review a different way than i thought it would go. this conversion tool says i make $43K/yr, while my buddy used to make almost $75K like 10 years ago in a different city. he was self employed and subcontracting at that point. i believe thats what the "head tech" is making at my company right now. and he's been with the company formaybe 3 out of the 4.5 years that i've been here. the boss just seems to have favouritized him from the get-go. is that supposed to be hyphenated? mind u he's probably sold himself very well at the interview, as he has throughout his employment here. he's learned a lot straight from the boss here, and so now he actually probably does know the most out of all of us techs.
the conversion tool says that to make about a 100K the hourly wage must be about $48. like in 2 hours such a person would make what i used to make in a day. thats incredimable.
anywho, its after 7am and i still gotta shower and try to get to work by 7:30... good luck :D
even though its 6:50 am and i still gota shower and go to work...
my recent raise to $21/hr left me feeling worse than any previous raise. probably because i went in with higher expectations. and i lost my nerve when the bosses spun the review a different way than i thought it would go. this conversion tool says i make $43K/yr, while my buddy used to make almost $75K like 10 years ago in a different city. he was self employed and subcontracting at that point. i believe thats what the "head tech" is making at my company right now. and he's been with the company formaybe 3 out of the 4.5 years that i've been here. the boss just seems to have favouritized him from the get-go. is that supposed to be hyphenated? mind u he's probably sold himself very well at the interview, as he has throughout his employment here. he's learned a lot straight from the boss here, and so now he actually probably does know the most out of all of us techs.
the conversion tool says that to make about a 100K the hourly wage must be about $48. like in 2 hours such a person would make what i used to make in a day. thats incredimable.
anywho, its after 7am and i still gotta shower and try to get to work by 7:30... good luck :D
Monday, April 17, 2006
i just saw "Desperado" - what a stupid movie. there's some cool-ish stuff in it, but i still dont get what the fuck was supposed to be happening. oh well.
i guess i feel like life sucks when whatever happens makes me feel crappy, especially when there's a couple of those things. emotions suck. those bad ones. wish i could turn those bad ones off and just logically figure things out. because i do like those good ones, just hate the bad ones. i guess its kinda like a drug - when u choose to live with one, theres good things and bad things attached. but i guess emotions are a kinda "logic" thats hardwired into us. there is no meaning to life - it just is. we're here - guess might as well do something with it. i keep thinking of getting stoned, but cant avoid thinking that a stoned lifestyle is not all that either - the memory problems, the mood swings after, the logic errors. a friend of mine recently said that life is as you perceive it, and thats all that matters. but just because a problem is not bothering you, doesnt mean that the problem is not there. just fucking problems everywhere. i dont even know what the fuck i'm saying
i guess i feel like life sucks when whatever happens makes me feel crappy, especially when there's a couple of those things. emotions suck. those bad ones. wish i could turn those bad ones off and just logically figure things out. because i do like those good ones, just hate the bad ones. i guess its kinda like a drug - when u choose to live with one, theres good things and bad things attached. but i guess emotions are a kinda "logic" thats hardwired into us. there is no meaning to life - it just is. we're here - guess might as well do something with it. i keep thinking of getting stoned, but cant avoid thinking that a stoned lifestyle is not all that either - the memory problems, the mood swings after, the logic errors. a friend of mine recently said that life is as you perceive it, and thats all that matters. but just because a problem is not bothering you, doesnt mean that the problem is not there. just fucking problems everywhere. i dont even know what the fuck i'm saying
Sunday, April 09, 2006
i just saw this movie "sideways" and this movie "hellion". hellion turned out to be an australian movie. sideways had a guy who was about to marry in a week , screwing this chick he just met 3 ways from sunday. i thunk it was kinda... uncool. i was hoping he would decide not to marry the chick he was gonna marry - would have been probably better for her too. but hey - he screwed her good. his wife not-to-be and his... fuck-puppet. well, he actually did marry the chick he was going to. after being severily beaten with a motorcycle helmet. felt pretty good :)
this must have been the first, or one of the first times that i'd gotten drunk on red wine. red wine and ginger ale.
pok 0 wine caa in ye poj0ghiste snnnns
ok - i have no idea what that that just said - but i sure hope that its not a nobel morir
which again - i dont kno what thsats about, but i hope every one enjoys themselves;)
ciao! ;)
this must have been the first, or one of the first times that i'd gotten drunk on red wine. red wine and ginger ale.
pok 0 wine caa in ye poj0ghiste snnnns
ok - i have no idea what that that just said - but i sure hope that its not a nobel morir
which again - i dont kno what thsats about, but i hope every one enjoys themselves;)
ciao! ;)
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